So at this rate, it doesn't look like I will be winning NaNoWriMo this year, which is a total bummer. I wish they would have a month-long break from school in November, so I could spend a few hours and write the right amount of words. I just... haven't been into it lately.
I lost momentum, which was my problem. Last year, I just went at it and didn't look back. Now, I'm trying to write something decent that I can actually work with. But I just can't get in the mood to write it. I'll sit down and get ready to write, then find a million other things to do on the internet before doing it. I don't even do productive things, just random stuff so I don't have to write. It's annoying. I'm annoyed with myself.
Is this what writer's block is? I hope not, because that sounds annoying. I seem like I'm in a bad mood, don't I? I don't know why... maybe because I'm tired. But that doesn't make much sense, because I got, like, nine hours of sleep last night. Hmm, who knows.
I'm thinking of crazy ideas for this NaNo book, and I can't wait to write them, really. But I just... I don't know. I like the story I'm writing with, but I'm worried that once I look it over I'll be terrified to do anything with it, because I will think it's crap. I don't know why I have this fear, since I am a pretty professional-ish book reviewer, and even do editing work for the publishers I intern for.
I'm clearly a mess.
Words written today: 690
Total word count: 24701
Recommended word count: 35000
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Another pep talk is in order, I think. I love that you're being honest with yourself--- exploring the possibilities of why this year of NaNo isn't working for you. But one of my fave characters in my current WIP says something to the MC that I think you need to hear. He says, "It’s great that you want to find your weakness, but naming it doesn’t make it go away. You’ve got to act. You’ve got to make a change." And right now, I'm begging you to listen to my darling Mr. Bleu.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure which author it is who claims, "There's no such thing as 'writer's block,' only laziness and self-doubt,' but I agree with this statement wholeheartedly. You're not a mess--- you just don't feel like writing. Wanting to do something doesn't get it done; acting on something does.
You probably don't want my advice because we don't know each other and because I talk too much, anyway. But hello, Alex Bennett. I'm Deserae McGlothen. And I want to encourage you to keep going, despite your time consuming schedule, your over productive Twitter feed, and (yes, I'm going to say it), your laziness. It'll be good practice, I promise, for the next time you encounter a predicament like this. YOU CAN DO IT. You can, Sir! I believe it.
Turkey break is right around the corner and you know what I'm thankful for? I'm thankful for:
1. being able to spend TIME with my family.
2. all of the book bloggers who will be taking TIME out of their breaks to recommend things for me to read during mine.
3. having TIME to spend talking to other writers who know how I'm feeling and who want what I want.
4. my Hebrew teacher giving me extended TIME to procrastinate and get that oral presentation ready for finals.
But, yeah, I'm sure you got the message. And I'm sure you realize how close you are to the end and how capable you are of seeing this thing through. Don't let yourself off the hook JUST yet, because you know in your heart you CAN do this. You just have to do it, okay?
Here's one of Maureen Johnson's jars. I stole it while she was talking about Twilight. Whatever's in there is going to help you finish this first draft, I swear, and in the words of Albus Dumbledore, "Use it well."
Good luck, Alex,
Deserae